i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
