hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
