i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
