did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
