forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
