I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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