from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize