i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
