I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
