I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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