We're like a lot better than the average bears
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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