The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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