so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
