Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
