I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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