It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
