i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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