Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
