yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
