I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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