he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
