I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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