He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
