dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We got so high we made milksteak
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one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
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He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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