he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
