sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
