the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
