oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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