You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
