The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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