Yo dont text me then not text me
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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