I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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