out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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