The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
