first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize