i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Come see our sink grown plant.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
