Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I need to calm my uterus...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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