turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize