wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
