i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
