he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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