Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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