PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
