If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
