Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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