Is it because I queefed?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
