Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
