now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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