is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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