The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize