Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
