you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
