her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
