Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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