3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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