He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
