babies were throwing up all over the place
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
