I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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