and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
