he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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