therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
