There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Operation Purity has been aborted
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
