coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
